The Madonna Caper
| Special = | Introducing = | and = | Appearance = | Also = | Co = | With = | Uncredited = | Uncertain = | Producer = | Writer = Gregory S. Dinallo | Teleplay = | Story = | Director = Herb Wallerstein | Production = 47328 | Original = 6 February 1978 | Prev = The Lost Island | Next = Dead Ringer | Related = }} Summary Steve foils a museum's security system so that Countess Lysandra Korischeva can retrieve a microdot--containing vital military information--concealed in a painting. But the Countess also switches a fake for the $5 million masterpiece, which she sells to crime lord Chilton Kane. When Oscar Goldman learns of the substitution, he orders Steve to get it back before the imminent visit of a Russian art expert. Deconstructed Quotes Oscar: 'That device is sensitive to air movement. A moth would set it off. ---- '''Oscar: '''She is arranging for a malfunction of the air conditioning system so you can end up in this area right here, you see, right above the picture. '''Steve: '''What about cooperation from museum personnel? '''Oscar: '''No way. Security was provided by both sides. '''Steve: '''And we can't risk the Russians finding out. '''Oscar: '''The secretary is steaming that we are using the exhibit for espionage purposes. '''Steve: '''So its just me. '''Oscar: '''And the countess. ---- '''Guard: '''What's that? '''Steve: '''That's a humidity tester. It coevaluates the negative pressure on the barimatic sensor disk with the air filtration diodes among other things. '''Guard: '(Laughs nervously) Sure buddy. ---- '''Mrs. Cummings: '''I understand you were involved in a little operation at the National Gallery last night. '''Oscar: '''And a very highly successful one I might add. '''Mrs. Cummings: '''I'm afraid not, Mr. Goldman. My input indicates it was miserably bungled. '''Oscar: '''Bungled? The data in that microdot is priceless Mrs. Cummings! '''Mrs. Cummings: '''Its worthless if you started World War III getting it. '''Oscar: '''I'm afraid I don't understand. '''Mrs. Cummings: '''The Byzantine Madonna. '''Oscar: '''Yes? '''Mrs. Cummings: '''The painting in the museum today is not the one that was there yesterday. '''Oscar: '''What! '''Mrs. Cummings: '''Its been switched with a fake. ---- '''Steve: You picked the magic words "at liberty." How about ten years in jail? Lysandra: '''For what? '''Steve: You stole a painting. Lysandra: Correction, you stole a painting. Steve: Correction, I borrowed a painting for a few moments. You stole it. Lysandra: All right, I confess. Let's go to the police, hmm. ---- '''Lysandra: '''Or we could just forget the whole thing, except the last part. I don't want to forget I met met you. Would you zip me please? Thank you. Like it? (Indicating her dress) '''Steve: '''Oh its beautiful, great camouflage for your character. ---- '''Steve: '''Ok, ok, forget it. Uh, you mind signing this right here please. '''Guard: '''What is this? '''Steve: '''This is a release. You see tomorrow when the paint on those portraits starts peeling because the humidity is too high, somebody's going to be responsible and it ain't going to be me. So, sign right here please. '''Guard: '''All right (lets Steve in). ---- '''Lysandra: '''I've got to be in Geneva by noon tomorrow. '''Steve: '''I'll fly you to Geneva myself as soon as we're finished. '''Lysandra: '''You're sure? '''Steve: '''Trust me. ---- '''Steve: '''Well the jet will be ready in a few minutes and we'll be on our way to Geneva. And that bird is so fast we'll probably have time to stop off for dinner somewhere. ---- Trivia Characters *Steve uses the alias Mr. Starks, a Texas oil man and rancher. Gaffes Gallery Th-Der.6-Millionen-Dollar-Mann.-.S05E18.-.Ein.doppeltes.Spiel.jpg Vlcsnap-184553.png Vlcsnap-188114.png 517